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What a fucking mess. Now I’m down 30% on the year. Thanks, house of shitheads. You do know that you just lost the economy more than 700bn, right?

Oh yeah, I’m not voting for anybody who voted against this measure.

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Sorry guys

Over the past few months (perhaps year, even), I have been neglectful of my relationships. I came to this realization on Saturday at a loud rock concert, when I went to the show while my other friends, who caringly invited me to see “Burn After Reading” with them. I had to say no, because I had already committed to the show.

So here it is, I’m sorry for being a bad friend to you guys. And here you are by name:

  • Matt
  • Dan
  • Bobby
  • Alex
  • Ryann
  • Becky
  • Janice
  • Kyle
  • And anybody else I have so cruelly forgotten. If you don’t see your name here, send me an email, with subject “Hey, asshole, remember me? The one you said ‘we should hang out more’ to? (But if I don’t know you, then I am not sorry for forgetting you, or even for being a poor friend to you, because I have not known you.)

I love you guys, and I’m sorry. I will try to call you within the next two weeks. Even if I have to finish a presentation to give at SES and a paper (my first! it’s going to be total shit). And no, I’m not getting facebook, that is not a solution to this.

Calendar of events:

  • Oct 12-15: SES in Urbana-Chaimpaign. Giving a presentation. Eating deep-dish pizza in Chicago.
  • Oct 24: Asobi Seksu at Hi-Dive with Mary
  • Nov 4-7: Matt visits, with bike in tow
  • Nov 8: Danielson at Hi-Dive (I love this place, oh so very much), probably by myself
  • Some time in October: “A Tapas Thanksgiving.” Just because we need a 4th Thanksgiving this year.

In other news:

  • I got two albums yesterday at Twist & Shout. Both used, both in fair condition. One is an Art Tatum double album, which is the shiznit, and the other is Joe Cocker’s “With A Little Help From My Friends,” which has a warp at the edge. I’ll probably put it in a glass sandwich and try to iron it out.
  • I am making another loaf of no-knead bread from the New York Times recipe. This time I’m using bread flour. Fingers crossed.
  • We got a doorbell. It’s manual, and it is awesome. It is also very loud. I hope you can come ring it soon.
  • One of my Bang & Olufsen speakers has a blown woofer. Hopefully I can fix it by replacing a driver.
  • It is late. I should be sleeping.
  • We made tomato soup tonight from ingredients in our garden. It was very good. Very sweet, as the varieties of tomatoes that we grow are sweet. I will eat it with my no-knead bread, and it will be delicious.
  • Mandy is having the time of her life as an intern. By that, I mean it is hard, thankless, and she works long hours. “Time of her life” seems apt.

This seems like it has devolved into something like a christmas letter. Fuck (I just saved it with that properly-placed expletive). Ok, kids, I gotta go. And if you want something to read about, look up Mr. Rogers on MentalFloss. It will make you smile.

Free at last!

Free from them damn democrats crapping up the traffic in Denver. Yeah, you protestors too. Except for you, “Bring back crystal pepsi” guy. You rock. But everyone else, stay out.

Conventions. What a waste of time. Just masturbation for the attendees. “Yes! I love you speaker! You also have the same views as I do! Speak to me more about what we both agree on!”

I still don’t know who I’m going to vote for. The democrats say McCain is going to give tax cuts to corporations. So is Obama, he just phrases it differently. Obama says he can revitalize the economy. The only way he can do that is if he can boost consumer confidence, which really isn’t so easy to do. It takes a long time to turn an economy around, especially after a spend-fest like we had since the 90s. Most economists I’ve heard say the problem really started with Greenspan’s policies at the Fed. Which wasn’t just 8 years ago, guys. The democrats say they will change lending laws. Where were they when this mess was gestating? Yeah. Too little too late.

And Biden. Boy he pisses me off. McCain considered Biden a friend. And the day that he’s announced as running-mate he takes shots at McCain? Great loyalty you have there. I certainly don’t want to vote for this fair-weather friend.

The only way McCain can win the election is if he goes conservative. But the only way he’ll get my vote is if he goes left. Returns to being the uncontrollable leader he once was. Willing to do things that aren’t popular, but are right. Except for that tanker contract that got taken away from Boeing and awarded to Airbus, then rescinded and re-opened for investigation on whether or not it was correctly run. That was some shit. I’m all for controlling development costs, but that was ridiculous. Anyway, I’m Phil Kao and I approve this rambling.

Scraping the knee

I fell off my bike yesterday. Sucked. Some idiot in a Honda Civic was driving through my neighborhood in front of me and stopped at a stop sign. Then he started turning right, but stopped. I presumed that he had seen me behind him and then stopped, so I was going to go around him on the right. Douche proceeded to turn when I started to go, so I had to stop short. I couldn’t get my foot out of the clip so I fell to the right. My knee hit the pavement pretty hard and I got a nice scrape. My right foot also hit something on the bike and gave me a nice lump on the top of it. Civic Douche just kept on driving. Screw you, civic drivers everywhere. Learn to signal.

Yoda, my neice

Pauline had her baby on Saturday! No name as of yet, but she is being called yoda, or burrito. She has my nose, which is unfortunate. “Isn’t Phil’s nose big?” -Brad.

I came across a blog called “Stuff White People Like”, and yeah, I fit the bill. The numbers that characterize me are (cross-reference to full list of stuff white people like): 5, 6, 10, 12, 18, 19, 25, 26, 28 (formerly, but I own one now), 34, 36, 37, 38, 39, 41, 44, 49, 50 (I can’t get enough irony.), 54, 55, 57, 61, 62, 63, 64, 67, 68, 73 (I gentrified my neighborhood), 75 (I want to move to Vancouver.), 77, 81, 83, 84, 87, 90.

I like this blog. It is snarky and silly. There are also posts like “White Problems – Should Children Drink Wine?”, and “White People In the News”. These people must be white and love irony.

Here is a list of reasons I’m not white:

  • I’m Chinese
  • Saving money through good deals (might be related to being Chinese)
  • I know about circuits and stuff (again, the Chinese)
  • I like to eat all God’s creatures (because I’m Chinese)

Well, I guess the only reason why I’m not full-blown white is that I’m Chinese. Zhong Guo, bitches!

Ken Lee

O man o man, this is comedy gold. Tulibu deeboo douchoo!