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Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category

Scraping the knee

I fell off my bike yesterday. Sucked. Some idiot in a Honda Civic was driving through my neighborhood in front of me and stopped at a stop sign. Then he started turning right, but stopped. I presumed that he had seen me behind him and then stopped, so I was going to go around him on the right. Douche proceeded to turn when I started to go, so I had to stop short. I couldn’t get my foot out of the clip so I fell to the right. My knee hit the pavement pretty hard and I got a nice scrape. My right foot also hit something on the bike and gave me a nice lump on the top of it. Civic Douche just kept on driving. Screw you, civic drivers everywhere. Learn to signal.

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So the whole research group went to the Society of Engineering Science conference in college station, texas. The conference was good, lots of interesting talks, some stuff directly pertaining to my work. Anyway, we went to Houston on tuesday night to get to the airport by 4:30 AM. We were slated to stay at the Days Inn, so we checked in and were going to return the rental car to save the extra day of rental. So, that went all right, and Kevin and I went to the airport to return the car. Kris, Long and Francisco stayed at the hotel. We called the hotel to arrange for a shuttle ride back to the hotel from the airport, and they said 25-30 minutes. Whatever, that’s fine, we still had to get back to the terminal or whatever, so we waited. Two hours we waited until the damned shuttle showed up. That was almost ok, because we got to complain about things and talk a little. The shuttle finally showed up late, and as we walked in front of the van, I couldn’t help but notice that it had gotten in an accident. As Dudley had said, “That cab has a dent in it. And another one there…” So the driver was talkative. Very talkative. He was listening to talk radio about the fires in southern california, and he wanted to convince us that all they needed to do was buy his idea of sprinkler machines that they would just drop into the fire, and it would spray for 20 feet, and they wouldn’t even have to send firefighters. And ditches. Kevin talked to him about that, and all I could do was laugh.

Anyway, at the hotel, we saw Long in the lobby. He said he wasn’t going to go to sleep in that room because it smelled too bad. Shit. So Kevin and I decided to just get as much sleep as possible. We went up to the second floor and the floor was wavy. And it felt like it had holes in it. And the floors were springy. Strike 2? or was that 3? So try to sleep I did. I waited for a while before I got into the threadbare, nasty nasty bed. I decided I’d keep my clothes ON for bed. Socks too. I slept on top of the bed. I also put a tee shirt on top of the pillow so I didn’t have to contact the STD repository, er… pillow. I had to laugh at the hotel, it was too bad. Hilariously bad. This place was such a shit hole.

In the morning, we got our asses out of bed. There was a little black beetle in my bed. Gross. I went to the bathroom, and it was so gross. So gross. So gross. Peed, flushed, washed hands and got the hell out of there. I changed my pants and shirt (I slept in a long-sleeved shirt not to touch the cesspool), and went downstairs to the lobby. We went to the shuttle and put our stuff in the van. I realized that I didn’t have my belt, and checked in my bag. It wasn’t there either. So I said “I have to get something from the room, I think I left something there.” The shuttle driver said “You’re gonna make everyone late”. Sorry, dude, I’m not leaving a 45 dollar (canadian) belt in your shit hole. So I asked for a key to the room and ran up and grabbed it. Ran across the springy holey uneven floors and down the elevator with ceiling panels missing, and through the lobby and into the shuttle van. And away we went, speeding like a bat out of hell to the terminal. Man, he was going fast. I see how that accident happened.

I was just glad to get out of the damn van when we did. I will never stay in a shit hole like that again. It’s not worth it. Not worth it.

I washed, more like scrubbed, my hands in the airport bathroom, and brushed my teeth in there. Everything I looked at was filthy. Like I had conditioned myself not to touch anything. I did that until I got home and showered. I washed everything that I brought to the conference. Nasty nasty nasty.

So if you’re ever in Houston, staying at the airport, I wholeheartedly reccomend the Days Inn in Greensport. Or whatever city that was. You’ll know it by the 2 hour wait at the airport, the accident that you get in, the idiot driver, the wavy dirty springy floors, the threadbare bed, the scabies you get, the driver that yells at you for making everyone late, and the post-traumatic stress disorder you get from staying there.

Four stars!

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Getting popular

It seems like lately the artists that I like are blowing up in popularity. Feist is getting lots of radio play, and also is in three commercials that I can think of, LG chocolate, ipod nano, and HSBC direct. Regina Spektor is on a JC Penney commercial. A JC Penney commercial!!! I can’t believe it! Sufjan is so big that he’s hated. Page France had a song on Weeds. And I can’t stop hearing the freaking beatles wherever I go. I heard them first, dammit!

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ticketbastard

Mr. Burns: And to think, Smithers, you laughed when I bought ticketmaster. "Nobody's going to pay a hundred percent service charge."

Smithers: It's a policy that ensures a healthy mix of the rich and the ignorant, sir.

Yeah, season 7, episode 24. Anyway, ticketmaster sucks.

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I am supposed to be writing a lab report. I don't feel like it. I'll probably do it later tonight. Or, this morning. (more…)

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racist bastards

The senate is filled with racist bastards. Crooked politicians who care about the next election year and not the entire middle eastern world hating the U.S. Hey, why don't we block an international deal because the company involved is located in the middle east? I mean, a British company has managed the ports for a while now. Why didn't we stop them from managing the ports? Didn't terrorists come from Britain too? What about the idea that there are terrorists living in the U.S.? Do we stop U.S. companies from managing the ports too? I mean, there may be terrorists working for the Merkin companies too. Hell, why don't we round up all the turban-heads in the U.S. and put them in internment camps like we did to the Japanese? Or we could steal all their land from them and put them on reservations so they can develop the highest rate of alcoholism and suicide. That would be sweet too. They'd be much safer there. Plus, we wouldn't have to worry about them bombing our quaint, virtuous little country. Wake up, idiots. (more…)

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I enjoyed this

Maybe you will too.

here it is.

So… the taz thing is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. Try me. I also have my own opinions, but I don’t think they’re as funny as this guy’s.  Maybe I should take the 12 jesus fish and 3 calvins peeing on sundry things off of my car before I look like a hypocrite.
-phil

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