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Archive for the ‘Phil’s Stupidity’ Category

must stop laughing or I’m going to die of asphyxiation

This clip is so full of hilarity. The setting is total non sequitur in the first place, then with the guy screaming like a girl and doing the “I’m so scared” hand gestures, it surpasses words. The “recovery” at the end really caps it off.

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like…

liposuction surgery!

or global warming!

or even Horror movies!

I thought about doing the 9/11 plane crashes with it, but after re-watching the videos, it’s just not funny.

BUT, what is funny is car crashes! and Michael Jackson music videos! and “cool” skiing videos!

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This song is so awesome. It reminds me of the Will Ferrell and Ana Gasteyer skits on SNL where they sang topical songs in the style of popular music to captive audiences at compulsory meetings. Lyrics are available here. I’d just to highlight a few things about this song that intrigue me.

a) It sounds almost like Danielson could’ve done it. I like Danielson.

b) This could be a very good parody song. I mean it’s got rapping, tuba in a polka bass line, lots of exclamation points, cowboys, wal-mart, yelling, interludes, crazy tempo changes, and it’s a third of an hour long! They had to have tried really hard to make it this good. Cue flute solo!

c) Bad beat box beats are so awesome.

d) Rapping soprano.

e) It’s like a conversation between a fixated moron and an ADHD savant. There’s a weird thread of holidays, punctuated by Ludwig Wittgenstein, patriotism, cowboys and politics.

f) Musical interludes full of whatever instruments people dislike. Out of tune. This is kind of what reminds me of Danielson.

g) Obvious brand whoring. Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

h) Fat beats laid down by accordians and tuba.

i) German?

j) Singing in unison.

I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I did. Yahooooo-o-o—o-o-o-o-o-o-ooooooo!

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Drinking alone

So a few weeks ago I bought a 24-pack of stella. I’ve only drunk a few of them. Due to this abundance of beer and the limited shelf-life of beer, I’ve started to drink them by myself. Does that make me an alcoholic?

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I’m depressed. Fuck. I think instead of having normal emotions like sadness and the like, I just get angry. I get myself worked up. To the point of wanting to hurt myself.

Anyway, I need help.

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Dance-off

In case you had not yet heard, I won a dance-off. Yes, I won a dance-off. Admittedly, it was a super lame dance-off, and I was the only one that didn’t try to actually dance and just do the same thing for the alotted time, but I won.

We were in a 3-way tie for 3rd place at trivia on Tuesday due to some dubious judging, so the way to decide the winner is a dance-off. And nobody else wanted to on our team, so after I saw the first team’s (non-)contender, I thought it would be easy to clinch it. Just do some stupid fake dance moves and $20 here I come. I did the moonwalk, and it was mine.

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I am tired of traveling on a shoestring budget. No more 3 people to a room, no more crappy korean cars made for korean asses, no more shitty hotels.

If I never go to another conference I’ll be fine.

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