Sorry folks, but this might be a little bit of a catharsis for me. (It’s very long)
So I flew in to Detroit on Monday afternoon, around 4:30 PM, and got picked up by Pete Lillie’s mom, Joan. Pretty awesome, huh, calling on old friends when in need.
The news came on Friday afternoon, as Mandy and I were headed out to an “Engaged Encounter” up in Estes Park. Janice called. I always like talking to Janice. She sounded upset, and asked if I was busy. I’m always free for Janice. So she breaks the news, “Andy passed away.” My reaction, after a good long pause is “Oh.” Then, after another pause, “Oh.” I knew Andy had been in the hospital for suicidal thoughts, but I hoped it wasn’t that…
Mandy didn’t know who was on the phone, or what the phone call was about, so when I got off the phone with Janice I told Mandy that Andy had died, taken his own life. We were in shock. I pulled into a Wal-Mart parking lot, and we cried together. We wondered why. We felt guilty for not being better friends, for not calling him more often, for not being more intentional with him, as he had been with us. I guess that’s the knee-jerk reaction to the news, “what could we have done better?” I tried not to let myself go there, I knew it wasn’t right, wasn’t good, wasn’t true. We sat in the car, with the sparse rain coming down, making the comforting pings and dings that lets you know that you aren’t alone in your grief. We prayed for Andy’s parents, for Becky, for ourselves, for discernment in how to act. We hadn’t prayed together in a long while, but this kind of thing warrants a deviation from the norm. “Lord, be comfort to Becky.”
There was a moment when we decided we would go to the engaged thing despite this news, and part of it was out of obligation. I’ll skip most of the engaged thing, it’s not that interesting, but what was good was that Mandy and I have decided that we can’t be lackadaisical about God and his church. I talked on the phone a few times to Kyle and Janice, and got word that the service would be on Tuesday.
We got back on Sunday, and bought plane tickets to Detroit for the funeral service. It felt good spending that money. Like Andy would’ve done. I was going to leave on Monday morning and get in on Monday afternoon, and Mandy would come in later that night, and I would pick her up from the airport. Mandy went to her apartment in Denver while I packed up my stuff for Michigan. I used my phone a lot that night, calling Matt, Kyle, Janice, and a few others that I might not remember. Becky called in the middle of this. She said “Hi, Phil,” with a little quaver in her voice. “Hi, Becky,” I replied. She asked me if I could help find some songs for the memorial service to play, songs that Andy liked. She said she could only remember “Agnus Dei” as one of his favorites. We talked only briefly, and I offered to play at the service, and she said she would appreciate it. She said she’d give my cell phone number to her pastor, who was coordinating the service. I said I would be glad to help in any way.
I had to find songs to play. Out came the old worship word document that Andy had compiled. He took a lot of time putting that together. After it got passed down to me, I added a table of contents, and a little bit of flair at the top, but it still reeked of Andy Huang’s handiwork. Flipping through it brought back waves of memories of leading worship for InterVarsity. Good and bad memories, but time has a way of erasing the bad. Nostalgia, it was. I called a few people and asked them to think of what songs Andy really liked to play. Funny though, all the songs were happy songs, and songs about bringing the good news to the world. The songs he loved reflected his passions.
Janice and I talked about which songs would be good, and came up with three: “Agnus Dei”, “He Knows My Name”, and “When I Think About the Lord”. “He Knows My Name” I remembered specifically Andy saying he liked it, mainly because it was such an “Asian” song; About personal worth. “When I Think About the Lord” was definitely one of Andy’s favorites, I remembered him getting Caleb Carruth’s CD Darkness Falls, and just playing that CD over and over. In his green Honda CRV. Practicing those songs on my bed with the door closed was very sad. “…He sees each tear that falls/And hears me when I call…” Yeah, and the fact that the songs were picked specifically to be Andy’s favorites, made them especially hard to sing.
So I packed up all my stuff, and made my way to Mandy’s, to eat some dinner and to sleep before my flight in the morning. I ended up staying up really late, talking on the phone to Mike Robinson and Dan Bekins, who during the course of our conversation both bought plane tickets to Detroit. It was good to talk to those guys again, and at the same time as well. I also called up Mike Martin that night and told him what was going down, he said he’d try to make it.
So I got dropped off at my parents’ house Monday afternoon by Pete’s mom, and I putzed around for a little bit, cleaned up a little bit, and got ready for Kyle to come pick me up. We drove to the airport to get Mike Martin, whose flight was on-time, but his ride was not. We then had to go back to Ann Arbor to pick up Andy Wang from the Amtrak station. I hadn’t seen Andy Wang in a long time. We went to Kyle’s place to clean it up a bit, and so the three not-Kyles cleaned up the place while Kyle went to the airport again and got some people who weren’t going to the funeral, but needed to be picked up anyway. Kyle, 2, Phil 2. Dan’s flight got re-routed through another city, so he was going to get in around 11:30, which was fine, because Jason Yee was to get in at 11:15, and Mandy was coming in at 11:50. It looked like it all might come together.
Kyle’s sister Kim and his mom got in around 9, and we talked for a while about the tragedy that had happened, and how it affected us. I like Kyle’s mom. She’s really fun to talk to, and she has a lot of wisdom and truth to speak as well. When they left for Meijer, Kyle and I drove to my parents’ house again to get the car so that I could pick up the other folk.
I think there’s a lapse in my memory, because the next thing I remember is being at the airport, picking up Jason Yee, and then going back to the “cell-phone lane” to wait for Dan to get in. Jason and I had only met once before, but he’s an easy guy to talk to. He lives in Denver, about two blocks away from the church that Mandy an I have been going to. Strange how things work like that. We talked about IV worship team, the glory days. Jason led worship before Erin Kreihn led it, who preceded Andy Huang, who then brought me into the position. We talked about how the worship at his church is usually professional bands who are hired to come and play. And how we don’t think that’s quite the point. At this point, Dan had arrived, so we picked him up, and then went back to the cell phone lane, to wait for Mandy. Dan and Jason were from the same era in IV, and Dan was large group coordinator when Jason was worship team leader. Jason said they kind of butted heads. I don’t doubt it, Dan’s a by-the-book guy, and Jason is a very open person. So they talked a bit, about their respective jobs, and how Dan programs video games for a living. Mandy finally came in at 12:40, and we all drove back to Ann Arbor. Kyle 2, Phil 3.
We got to Kyle’s place and dropped Jason off. I said hi to everybody who was there, and then left for my parents’ place. My friends Pete and John were looking for me, and were at my house. I just wanted to go to bed. So we talked for a while, I with Pete, and John at Mandy and Dan. We all looked at how cluttered my house was.
When we went to bed, Dan said, “Hey, your friend John annoyed me more than any other person has ever annoyed me.” I said, “I understand.”
The next morning, we shuffled off to Kyle’s place to hang out with people and get ready for the service. I remembered I had to get some picks so I went to the music store that’s pretty close to Kyle’s, and Jason came with me, and got some drum sticks. I bought two yellow and two red (Andy’s favorite of all time) tortex picks. When we got back to Kyle’s I tried to practice playing the guitar, since I really hadn’t played since leading worship at Purdue IV. Kyle’s mom was very supportive of me, as she had played in a few funeral services of friends of hers, and she understood how hard it was. Did I mention that I like her? She’s the bee’s knees.
Jason and I got to the church at around 12:15 to try to set up and practice. While we were in the atrium talking to the pastors, Becky walked in the door, and the conversation stopped. Becky started crying, and we hugged her. For a long time. Good to see her, good to be able to hug her, to be with her. As of that moment, I was very glad I had come. Becky went in to the room where they had set up the open-casket viewing, and after a while, Jason and I decided we should get to setting up. We started setting up the electronic drums that the church had, and the mics and what not. We decided he would play drums on “Agnus Dei” and piano on “He Knows My Name”. We were undecided for “When I Think About the Lord”. We ran things through a couple times, but something was wrong, they were too upbeat, and didn’t fit the mood well. Jason wanted to try playing on the piano, and me on guitar, so we just went with that. Erin Kreihn arrived later, and we started rehearsing. The dynasty of worship leaders, minus Andy. Somehow it was fitting that we would all get together to play. We decided that I would play piano on “He Knows My Name” and “When I Think About the Lord”, and Jason would sing and play guitar. Erin was to sing lead on all of the songs. She seemed distant, like she was processing stuff still.
We broke practice for a while to go visit with Becky and to see Andy’s body in the viewing room. Mandy and I went through and got five feet and broke down crying. We hugged one another and stepped on each others’ feet. We made our way over to where Becky was and she started sobbing with us. We had a big group hug for a while, and I said something stupid that made Becky cry even more. It was very sad to realize that Andy would not be there any more. We had lost a pillar. He was always there when we were at Purdue, he would always show up to little events. We had lost a good friend, a good man, a fighter for the faith. Becky had lost a fiancee, a future husband, a best friend… Erin and Jeff Kreihn went through after we did, and we just stood outside the exit door, silent, looking at the ground, looking at one another’s faces for some hope, some comfort. We just stood there. There was nothing we could do. After a few more people had gone through, and we had stood silent for long enough, we went back to try to practice again. This time, it was a quick run-through, and sound check. They were about to open the doors. We prayed as we always did before large group meetings, and more tears were shed.
We took our seats with the Purdue delegate, behind Phil Wong, third row. Kyle and I were to be pallbearers, and we didn’t really know what that would mean, so we walked outside and waited, until the pastors could tell us what we were to be doing. Kyle ran through his speech with me, as we waited for something to happen. We eventually took our seats after the pastors told us what we were doing, and so we sat in the pews, in the church that Andy loved, watching Andy’s casket get rolled down the center aisle. I cried. I sobbed, trying not to be too loud. Mandy was next to me, crying as well, there was something about that time that was just very final. The casket was closed. There was no turning back now.
There was an opening hymn, “It is well with my soul.” What a song. Always moves me, but this time, it hit pretty hard. “Though satan should buffet, though trials should come, let this blest assurance control/That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate and hath shed his own blood for my soul.” Amen. Kyle was the first to get up to speak, and he remembered the fun Andy. The Andy that participated in the awake-a-thon and subsequently slept through the rest of the activities of the carnival of idiocy. The Andy who had great aim with a frisbee or a pen. The Andy who would ask, “What’s that smell? It smells like updog in here.” It was good to remember that side of Andy.
We played “Agnus Dei” after Kyle talked. I sang some harmonies with my eyes closed. I couldn’t really bear to look at the people. It scared me to look at them. Like I had to live up to something. Like I wasn’t really Andy, and I was playing the songs he loved, but not the same as he would. A little slower and more somber. Erin sang well, I think she tried her hardest just to keep herself together. We finished and quietly walked back to our pews, not saying a word.
Phil Wong mentored Andy while Andy was living in Ann Arbor, and Phil really loved Andy. He spoke about Andy’s love for Christ, and his personal relationship with Andy. How Andy played with his two boys. How Andy would go to Denny’s with Phil, once a week, and usually order Eggs Benedict with water, and Phil would get a cup of coffee. And how one day, Phil would have Andy over to his place, fix him Eggs Benedict, with a glass of the clearest water, and Phil would have a cup of coffee, and they’d talk about how things were going. Phil started crying during the eulogy, but he did a phenomenal job of expressing Andy.
David Baker worked with Andy in Ann Arbor, at the marketing firm Move. David talked about Andy at work. He talked about Andy’s qualities that showed themselves at work. How Andy was frugal, but also lavish, how he was methodical and thorough, how he was spontaneous, how he planned. I enjoyed hearing about it from someone that only knew him for a short time, and in that short time, Andy had shown himself pretty well. I guess that’s how he worked.
We played the two remaining songs, “He Knows My Name” and “When I Think About the Lord”. I was on piano, Jason played guitar and sang and Erin sang lead on the first and backing on the second. I hadn’t played piano since I was at Purdue, and though there were a few flubs, it went as well as it could have. “He Knows My Name” is always a hard one to sing, but on that day, it was especially hard. Jason and Erin did wonderfully. “When I Think About the Lord” was new to Erin, but she pulled through like a pro, and Jason played well on the guitar. I did a few fills here and there, and botched a scale, playing F instead of F#. Loudly. I also stopped playing for a couple bars, when I forgot which chord I was playing. But nobody noticed, or at least had the courage to tell me that they noticed. We had played it a little slower during practice, but I think the tempo was good. Not quite Shane and Caleb speed, but contemplative enough. Later, Becky told me that she thought Andy would’ve liked the songs. She kind of wanted to stand up during the songs and clap, but didn’t think it was quite appropriate. I’m not sure, she probably could have, and in remembrance of Andy forcing the clapping, would’ve been fine. Man, did Andy want people to clap. He would jump up at the start of singing and start clapping really loudly, to try to get some excitement into the deal. Sometimes it would work, but it usually ended before the song did. Oh well, some people are clappers, some people are not. Andy was a clapper. He would have clapped with these songs.
So Pastor Mike began his message with a prayer for people who have died and didn’t know Jesus. I thought it was kind of strange, but I guess Andy was all about reaching out, so it sort of fits. Mike did a good job of speaking directly to the points that were touchy, such as dealing with the suicide, and the guilt that may come with it. And also blaming whoever the scapegoat of choice may be. He spoke strongly and encouragingly, and assured us that Andy was in heaven. Amen. He shared about how Andy grew and how he started buying flowers for Becky. Even though they were expensive and inevitably died. But Becky liked them, and Andy knew that. Later that night, talking to Becky, she said that she still had some flowers from Andy that he had gotten for her earlier in the week. They were all white. We laughed about how Andy always bought the flowers from a grocery store instead of the flower shop just downstairs from Becky’s place. He was frugal, but he was lavish.
At the end of the service, Kyle and I were to follow the recessional and casket outside to carry the casket from the entrance of the church to the hearse. That was kind of strange, to be entrusted with such a grave task. I took my place beside the casket, on the left, second from the front. We all lifted and carried his casket to the hearse, and gently slid it in. We watched as the hearse started the engine and slowly drove away. Never had an engine starting sounded so sharp. The slow crunch of the dirt under the tires and the engine humming were the only noises. I didn’t know where to stand while this was going on, so I went and stood by Becky. I gave her a hug. It seemed so final. No chance of return. Becky took my hand and we walked, leading the others, slowly back into the church. I held her hand tight with both hands, and didn’t let go until we were deep inside the church. We hugged again. She thanked the people who had taken care of the refreshments, and we parted.
I walked around, talking to people I hadn’t seen in a while. I didn’t really know what to say. Mostly I just gave hugs and said “Hi.” I had to pack up my stuff, so I went back into the sanctuary and got my stuff in order. I put everything away again, but put the picks in my pocket. I set my stuff down by the door, and walked around again, kind of awkwardly talking to people. Andy’s parents came and thanked me for playing, and I said it was an honor. I told his mom that he was the reason that I actually was playing in the first place. Andy really brought me in to the whole worship team thing, partly because he was a little sick of it, and I became the succeeding worship team leader after he. I got a little sick of it too, actually, I had to quit, but that’s another story altogether. We followed similar paths. Lots of people said we played well. I was embarrassed. I mean, I felt like I was taking away from the focus of the day, but I think this was their way of comforting me a little, trying to let me know they appreciated the effort. So it was all right. Before we left, I gave Becky the two red tortex picks that we had used to play with during the service. We talked about what things she had stolen back from Andy’s parents. It was good to frame it in a more humorous light.
I guess I awkwardly talked to too many people, because it was 5:00 and we hadn’t yet left, and our plane was at 6:45. Mandy said we had to go, so I started saying goodbye. A lot of people said they’d come to my wedding, which I felt was kind of weird, given the circumstances. Maybe they just needed something to say to break up the awkwardness. We finally left at around 5:30, and had to go get Mike Martin’s stuff from Kyle’s place, so we drove back over to his place and raced across town to pick up my dad so he could drop us off at the airport. It was 6:00 by the time we got to my house, but we went to the airport anyway, it’s a quick drive. We got there at 6:30, and ran in to the ticketing counter, but they were closed. My dad had already driven off. We asked if anyone there could get us boarding passes, but they thought it was too late. They said we could come back the next morning and catch the first flight out, at 6:30, but they’d charge us $100 each to fly standby. I was upset. I asked if they really had to do that, given the circumstances, and the lady said she’d leave a note saying that we could just be ticketed the next morning if we came in early enough, free of charge. I was relieved. In retrospect, I think it was divinely appointed that we would miss our flight. If we had left earlier, we would’ve been stuck in rush-hour traffic. There was no avoiding it, we would stay another night.
We called Kyle to see if he could come pick us up, because my dad didn’t have a cell phone, my mom had it. Kyle said he’d send someone. Mike, Mandy and I all stood around, talking about how stupid it was that we were standing around, doing nothing while the plane had not yet taken off. I went and got some sodas for all of us, mandy had a coke, mike had a sprite, and I got some weirdo grape slushy thing. It was super sugary, but all I had eaten that day was three strawberries, two oatmeal-raisin cookies, a sliver of a bagel with cream cheese and a glass of super-sugary lemonade. We each called our points of contact and said we wouldn’t be back until the next morning, they were all gracious and said it was fine.
When Kyle arrived, he was with Sandra (or however you spell that) in his sister’s green camry sedan with a delaminating headliner. We piled our junk in the trunk (ha ha) and got in the back seat. We talked about lots of stuff, from little kids wanting to be “good at thermo” to the high cost of renting silverware. Sandra was a good sport, putting up with my antics, and listening to my stupid stories. Mandy got a phone call from “Juan” about buying silverware on the cheap. We joked about meeting up with “Juan” in his white, unmarked van, and buying the silverware from him, cash. When we got back to Kyle’s place most people had already left, save for a few who had later travel arrangements. They were all listening to Jeff’s stories about his run-in with a drunk hit-and-run driver. Who hit him, and who he saw driving past him while he was talking to the cops. And about his splinter that turned into an abscess. What a guy.
We all ate a little pizza, and talked more, joked more, and were silent. Somewhere in there, I ended up going to the bathroom and changing out of my suit and into street clothes. I must’ve been in there for a while, because when I came out, Becky was there, sitting on the motley leather and paisley print chair, talking to everyone. I walked over to her and sat on the floor beside the ottoman. “Hi, Becky.” “Hi, Phil.” We talked for a while, about everything that was going on, how she was feeling, how it was strange to drive by herself in her car, how much she appreciated us playing, how honored I was to play, how she was stressed out by Andy’s parents being there, how much I liked talking to her, how we had hugged outside the church and walked back in together, how she wanted people not to be angry at Andy, how much she missed him, how Andy had brought her flowers, how Andy’s depression was leading up to the suicide, how he was doing so much better since Caroline’s wedding, about depression and how much it sucks, and how it can come back worse than ever, how Andy was in heaven, not depressed any more, and how that was a little comforting to her. I told her she was strong. She smiled halfway and nodded. I felt sheepish. I got her another cup of water and poured myself one as well. We talked about stealing Andy’s stuff from his parents, the little things, and she said she got the paperwork for the engagement ring. I told her that her ring was pretty, she said it was beautiful, and how Andy had done such a good job with it. I held her hand and smiled. She shared how it was good to talk to me, because she felt like she could express her feelings, and not just say that she’s “doing ok”. It made me feel a little happy, knowing I could help in some way. She told me her arms were sore from hugging so much. We laughed pretty hard at that one, she said she didn’t want to give crappy hugs to people that were hugging her hard. She said I did a good job with the music, picking songs and what not, and that it was good that she didn’t have to do that on top of everything else she had to do, and that Andy would’ve liked the songs. “It’s no problem, thanks for letting me do that.” “It was weird just sitting there, I wanted to stand up and clap, but I didn’t know how that would go.” “Andy probably would’ve been the first to jump up and clap. What a goofball.” We had a good laugh about that. I told her I was glad we missed our flight. She said she was too. I invited her to Colorado to hang out, see some mountains, be on a little vacation. She said she might come. I hope she does. Our conversation got a little more sparse, and she started talking to the others in the room. Jason Yee’s escapades in Denver, Andy Wang’s job in Chicago, generally tried to get caught up. I am glad Becky and I had a little time to talk, and that she could share her feelings with me.
Becky drove Mandy, Mike and I back to my parents’ place, around the ten-minute detour. She had Over the Rhine’s OHIO disc 1 playing in the car. I sang along for a couple bars. “Is there still redemption for anyone…” We had a little light conversation. She dropped us off, and standing in the driveway talking, I again reiterated that she was invited to come to Colorado, and mentioned that Alex would be there too, and that it would be fun, while I made a little motion with my arms. She said that the motion with the arms implied hiking, and she had some reservations about that. We laughed. We all hugged again and said goodbye. I opened the garage door and walked in, listening to the sound of her car driving off.
We went to bed, but I stayed up and went to Mandy’s room and wanted to talk to her for a while. We talked until 2:45, and we fell asleep on the little twin bed. We woke up at 3:00 to go to the airport, my dad drove us there. He parked the car this time, and came in with us, making sure we could get on the flight. I guess we looked forlorn enough that they got us boarding passes instead of putting us on standby, for no charge. It may not have been our plan, but it worked out in the end.
We quietly walked through security, through the dirty, old terminal at Detroit Metro Airport, and took seats next to the gate. I was looking around and saw someone that looked like Phil Wong. I looked again and it was him. Mandy and I went over and talked to him. He showed us some drawings for the book he was writing about adoption and the worth of girls in China. It was beautiful. We talked about our backgrounds a little, I told him I was a mechanical engineer, he told me he did bioengineering in California. He said he worked under a professor who had worked with Y.C. Fung, the continuum/arterial mechanics giant. I was impressed. I told him his eulogy was very good and thanked him for speaking. He was appreciative. He said he was going to Colorado Springs, to Focus on the Family, for a conference on adoption, which was important to them, and he was going to present his book. We wished him luck. The plane was boarding, and they had seats in row 16. They had to go. We said, “Have a good flight,” half jokingly, and got our stuff and waited to board ourselves.
Mike, Mandy and I had all been seated in separate rows, and I asked the flight attendant if Mandy and I could sit together. She put us on opposite sides of the aisle. Mike was incidentally sitting behind me. I didn’t put my seat back because he’s tall and it probably would have crushed his knees. Mandy and I looked at one another and looked at the child sitting in front of Mandy. He was probably about 14 months old, but he was big. He was dressed in a little blue onesy, and was trouble. He screamed when his mom tried to get him to calm down, and he could scream all right. But he was super cute, and you can’t fault a child. I slept through most of the flight, and when I woke up, he was quiet too, sleeping in his mother’s arms.
When we got to Denver and de-boarded, I stopped and waited for Phil Wong and his wife. We talked a little about how long they were going to be in town. He asked about the movie that they showed, Mandy said she had read the book. It was a little awkward. We walked toward baggage claim. We didn’t have bags, but we went with them to say goodbye, and gave hugs and shook hands. They are good people. I’m glad I met them. I’ll probably see them when I go back to Ann Arbor. I hope he gets his book published for the Chinese.
Mike, Mandy and I went to catch the shuttle bus to where Mike had parked his car. While we were sitting on the bus, I started crying on Mandy’s shoulder. I was tired and I had lost a friend. They ganged up on me, those emotions, and they overcame me. I just cried. It was okay to cry.
Mike drove us to the park-and-ride where my car was. We said thanks for the ride, and told him it was good to see him again. We agreed we shouldn’t be so once-in-a-while. We hugged goodbye, and Mandy and I got in my car. I plopped down in the driver’s seat and put my head on the steering wheel. I just sat there for a while, let it sink in a little. I guess I had been going for a while, and hadn’t really let things sink in. I eventually started the car and we drove to Mandy’s and got a little breakfast before I headed off to take my exams later that morning. I was glad to have her to talk with and be honest with. I think it helped me process a little more. She told me she was proud of me, of how I helped out with things. It was the least I could do.
I drove to Boulder to take my exams, falling asleep at the wheel, catching myself and then trying to keep myself awake. These exams would not be good, but they are not important compared to what I did instead of studying for them.
I talked to a few people since then, I told Kyle he helped out a lot, and was a good friend, I told Janice that it was good to see her for that short time. She told me it was hard to see me cry, as it scared her a little. I sort of understood. I heard from Kyle earlier tonight that Andy’s parents had heard Andy’s voice in Chinese tell them that he was ok. They had a peace about leaving Ann Arbor and going back home. I am glad to hear that. Becky could go to her family in Ohio, take some time off. I hope she doesn’t feel like she needs to be so strong at home. It’s tiring to me to have to be strong. But she always amazes me. She’s a leader, and a care-giver. Maybe she can find some time for herself to process and grieve.
I guess that’s it, that’s what I did this past week. I feel a little drained right now, and I don’t want to write this paper that I have to be writing. But it’s not as important as being with friends.
I hope that we all become closer in community, I think that’s what Andy would have wanted. Andy, as you watch us from heaven, know that we love you. I took you for granted, and I’m sorry for doing so. We’ll remember the Andrew Peterson concerts (and that girl that played after him I guess…), the small group leader’s meetings, the worship team practices, the urban projects, Urbana, the little things you did for people, how much you loved Becky, the community that you loved… Yeah, you left too early. We’ll see you some day. We will be happy in the presence of the Lord. A reunion to be talked of for all of eternity.